Traveling with children is always stressful. Especially if it involves air travel. With road, you have the latitude to be a little flexible with your time and control the velocity. With air travel, you are pretty much shackled in terms of what can be done. A typical routine would involve

• Get ready 4 hours ahead of the flight
• 2 hours ahead of time at the airport. (3 hours if it is international travel)
• Go through serpentine security check queues. (if you are lucky if no global security incidents have occurred in the recent past then you will be spared the pat-downs)
• Then if you are not a lucky First Class traveler then get ready to be transfered to another queue in front of the boarding gate.

All of the above are best case scenarios. Then if your flight comes and leaves on time then that is all you probably will have to endure. But if you are as lucky as we were this week, then you will have more fun at the airport. (Hooray!!! #1)

After all the scampering (or was it scavenging not sure) that my wife did to find and co-ordinate our travel plans for a long overdue vacation, we found the best flight that would leave Oakland at 6.10am. As you can imagine, that was not our preferred time. (remember shackles).  So we somehow cajoled our kids to sleep early the previous night so we can get up around 3am and leave for the airport. Surprisingly that went much smoother than we had anticipated.  Despite the seemingly weird practice US Airways has of putting all the families with kids at the tail end of the flight, we got situated nicely in seats and the flight started moving on time. The pilot even (prematurely) gave us good news by saying that we might be leaving early and reaching early (Hooray!!! #2). But that was probably the last good news for the day, as the flight only mustered enough wherewithal to reach the tarmac. After which all we saw was a parade of Southwest Airlines flights that kept passing us by. 30 mins past our flight take off time, the pilot said the flight is being canceled due to mechanical failure and we were asked to deplane. So back we were, half drowsy by now, at the boarding gate. 3o minutes later, we were told that a 800 number has been setup to help us find alternatives. I saw some getting refunds and changing plans. We were in no mood to go back home. Remember this vacation was long time coming.

The agent on the 800 number was busy looking and offering me various possibilities from Oakland, admittedly trying to get us to depart from the Oakland airport, to no avail. As if the journey was not already horrendous, the options presented to us were not any better. Then I asked her why can’t we fly out of San Francisco – even if it meant us driving out to San Francisco Airport. “Oh I never considered that” she said and started looking at options there and as luck would have it, we were given a choice between going to San Francisco and taking a Delta Airlines flight 7 hours later or flying another day. And so we ended up coming to San Francisco and when we got there, our luck shined on us again. From what were family seats together in US Airways, we were now given separate seats. All four of us separate. I know, I know. We made the choice to fly instead of choosing to flying another day. They did the best they could given the circumstance. Why am I still bitching then?  This is why – if having separate seats were not enough, all four of them were middle seats. There was no way my young son was going to sit in between to complete strangers (and probably I would not allowed my daughter to do the same).  We asked the desk clerk at the boarding gate and then the attendant (I refuse to call them air-hostess for obvious reasons). She said “I am sorry we cannot do anything but I totally understand your problems” (Did she?) and then got busy with whatever she was doing.
Then my ever industrious wife got into her act and some how convinced the person next my son and a family two seats behind them to move around in what amounts to a three way shuffle and got hers and the two kids seats together. A major league baseball or NBA GM would have been proud of such a three way deal. Don’t think I would have ever done it.  Heck I would have not even asked them (and not got the kids next to one of us). I am too much of an introvert – more happy to give up a good seat than ask for one.

And so we ended up reaching Detroit after 18 hours air travel. Did I mention shackles before?

Have you been to a Birthday party recently ?

Having kids or not, birthday party invitations have become a regular part of our life now.  With our busy schedules, hosting birthday parties at locations like Chuck-e-Cheese, Pump-it-Up, Party Place has become a easy alternative. Besides deciding on the menu, space arrangement, you can even pick a goody bag that you want for the guest (kids). These goody bags  rescue the parents from not having to split hair trying to match gifts with kids’.

Faster they come Faster they go

I would be curious to know what your experience has been with the goody bags kids bring home from birthday parties. In our house, the lifespan of a goody bag is 10 minutes. Once it has been dissected and the organs thrown around, I am left to clean up. Most of the “goodies” that came in the bag will be dismantled to identify their utility and when none found, they find their way to my trash can.  We pretty much followed the “party line” (pun intended) when it came to hosting parties and went for these pre-packaged goodies. I never paid much attention to the usefulness of these toys. They were just party favors that I would fill each bag with – the more of them the merrier I would think.

But as my kids grew older, I got wiser and started scrutinizing each goody bag (we bought and kids brought home). Besides being flimsy, some of the toys are borderline dangerous. Plastic guns, Catapults that shoot small disks etc.

Make ‘em good

While we all aspire to be like my friend Deepa, who carefully shops for the best game or craft according to the interest and age of the child attending her kids’ party, given my patience levels, I will settle for half as good. Come to think of it, while difficult, it is not tough to find better party favors than those we pick up off the shelf. We just have to “look-outside” the party favors aisle. Here are the few suggestions to follow.

1. Always work off of the party list. Make sure to note the age of the invitee.
2. Involve you child in finding the interest of the attendee. If that is not possible then use your child as a guage.
3. As with anything else have a budget in mind. $3-5 per goody bag. There are tons of games that can fit your budget.
4. Don’t just limit yourself to party favors aisle. You will find some better alternatives in the toys/craft section.

If you are short on time, here are some suggestions, you cannot go wrong with.

• for younger children (3-6 years)- crayons, picture books, Play dough.
• for slightly older kids (6 and above)  journals, gel pens, paint kits
• for creative older girls – bracelet kits, kits to make friendship bands
• for older boys – kits to make airplanes, wood craft kits, unfinished bird feeders

Alternatively you can also pick from these choices

• Etch-a-Sketch
• Puzzles,
• Wood picture frames
• Bubble makers
• Beach toys,
• Blowup balls,
• Origami kits
• Activity books too are a great option.

If you look at the costs, most of these do not cost more than all those little trinkets put together. With a little planning and some thought, we can ensure that goody bags are not filled with trinkets that are thrown away. Instead they have something that helps kids enjoy and learn at the same time.

As always don’t forget to take a quick glance at the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s Toy Hazard Recall List before you buy a toy.

Would love to hear your experiences with what you have discovered in kids goody bags. Also go ahead and suggest better toys/favors that can make a goody bag good.

We choose our friends based on our likes, hence we get along. We don’t get to choose our families,  hence we ought to learn to get along.

Can you guess whose quote this is? If you started thinking about some philosopher then you have definitely taken the wrong exit. It is a quote from the cartoon series “Anne of Green Gables”. Who knew that cartoons can impart such wisdom. But it is such a profound statement that got me thinking of what it meant to the family, how it applied to our kids.

I have 2 kids who get along with each other extremely well. But I would be lying if I said, everyday is Pleasantville. There are days when I feel like I am a referee in the middle of a baseball brawl. I am constantly separating them from going at each other or stop tearing a toy apart. Over the years, I have learned and employed a few tricks that have worked well for me. Some of these tricks have been adopted by my friends as well. Here goes.

• Remove the obstacle – When my kids fight over toys, I watch. I give them time to resolve their differences amicably. If the conflict goes on for a long time, I simply step in and take the toy away. I did this a lot when they were younger and when I was trying to teach them sharing and co-operation. Taking the toy away meant that neither of them got to play with it and that was really hard for them. Slowly as they grew older, we taught them how to share playing time with the toy by giving them a set amount of time before they had to hand the toy over to the sibling. This helped them learn how to tell time very quickly and also a little bit of patience.
• Clean up or lose them – One of the major problems I have is when the kids take all the toys out strew them all over the house (and especially during a play date) and at the end of the day, go to bed blissfully leaving the mess behind. I am not a super-clean freak, but I do like things to be put back in their place when not in use. So we have a rule in our house, 10 minutes before dinner is clean up time. Just gather up all toys and place them in a basket or on the shelf. A few times I have had kids refusing to do that. So I decided, I am not going to be the one to tidy up. After a warning that went unheeded, I took a fresh trash bag, and gathered up all the toys that were strewn around and pretended to throw then away. That was the last day,  I had to remind them to clean up or they knew their toys would be cleaned out.
• Divide and Conquer – A few weeks ago after a long day of separating 2 fierce kids getting on each others nerves, I decided to teach them the lesson of solitude. I separated them, sent each to a different room and forbade them from playing together for almost half a day. They are so used to having a companion in each other to play that, just being forced to sit apart, forced them to re-evaluate the joys of having a sibling to play with. After the “time-out” was over, I was happy to see them play well without conflicts for the rest of the weekend. I have used this tactic well since then. I just have to warn them that if I see them fighting, they will be separated for the rest of the day. This forces them into good behavior. I am sure, child psychologists and other savvy moms will reprimand me for forcing my children into good behavior. But I think, just like adults, children need some time to think over what is important for them. Once they figure that out, they will make the right choice.
• Birds of a feather flock together – A friend of mine took a different approach. While I found it hilarious, as she narrated it, she has had success with her approach. When her kids started fighting with each other over every single thing – from TV program to where to sit etc., she decided to teach them how to get along. She basically left them in the same room all to themselves. They were not allowed to get out till they figured out a way to get along with each other. It took them a day to come to an understanding, but eventually they realized with a little negotiation, they can be civil to each and accomplish what they want without any skirmishes. This method is great if the children are a little older and can use words respectfully to achieve the goal.

What do you guys think? Curious to know how other parents deal with similar situations. Share your thoughts through comments.

As parents one of our predominant concern is always our kids’ education. It starts right as soon we first get to know we will be parents, if not earlier. According to statistics apparently almost 60-70% of key decisions like house, job and city we live in revolve around our kids’ education. We do extensive research and get our kids into the best (private) schools possible even if it meant stretching ourselves a tad bit financially.

Once that is taken care of, the next thing on our agenda is to find additional education (public or private) by sending the kids to Math and Science classes like Kumon, JEI, Score and Beyond Academics or on-line courses from Kaplan and EPGY. All these to supplement the learning done in school. Most parents, that I have spoken to, feel that the supplemental education has made improvements to their child’s academic performance in school.

As my daughter started third grade I started to wonder about the same for her. I kept coming back to one issue that kept bothering me. If we put her in all these classes, how much time would she be left with to really enjoy her childhood. It seemed like pushing them a bit too much. As my mother-in-law aptly put it – “If we take them to all these classes and make them do all this work, when do they get to just be a kid ?”.

So I decided to explore alternatives that provided the necessary access to the information to broaden her knowledge while not making it onerous on her oh-so-young age.

Here are some simple steps I came up with to avoid turning my child into  “all work and no play” dull.

• Staying involved: When considering schooling, all I had heard was public and private schools were different.  Different they were – the teaching methods are different and so are the teachers. But after 3 years in a Montessori school and now after completing her first year at a Public School, I have concluded a few things.  The teachers in public schools are as much qualified as any in private schools. They just have fewer resources to work with. They rely heavily on parent participation. It needs no proof that, a child’s development, is directly correlated to a parents’ involvement in her activities. The more positive attention a parent pays to the child, the better the child performs academically, no matter which school she goes to.
• Being a partner: If we find that keeping the attention span of a child at home, for a hour, is difficult, imagine the challenge the teacher has  with 20+ children at the same time. If there is anything a teacher needs, it is more stakeholders. Becoming a partner with the teacher in your child’s education can make things go much better. Most teachers have great insights into how they can help your child. But the time they can spend with each child is at a premium. This is where the partnership can really bear fruit. Helping the teacher with assessing assignments, prep work for activities like science are some of the things we can do as parents.
• Educating yourself: It can be quite a refresher for us to get to know things that our children are learning. Being the guide at home to our kids, helping them with home assignments, project work can be quite fulfilling as I have begun to realize.  Talking to friends who have kids in other schools, researching on-line and off-line about the curriculum are some of the ways to keep yourself abreast of things. I would like to share a fantastic resource – Core Knowledge series, that I came across, to understand the curriculum.
• Getting to the bottom of it: Before you decide to send your child for the extra coaching – identify the exact area, you think, your child needs help. It may just be a simple case of feeling dis-interested/discouraged or not being challenged enough. Finding the right angle to make them interested helps them get back into that topic. For my daughter, using a map to play simple games like identifying countries and cities across the world – piqued her interest in Geography. She amazes me everytime she answers a question about a city that I have a hard time remembering.
• Playing Games: Some children may just need more practice to reinforce the fundamentals taught in class. I have found that for math – in the elementary school level – games are a great way to educate children. Monopoly is a great way to teach children about money. Scrabble (the junior edition is great) helps with spelling and word building. Playing Chutes & Ladders with my daughter has improved her addition skills.
• Practicing regularly: If computers are way of life for us now, they are going to be quintessential to our kids, as they grow up. One way, I have found, to give them exposure to computers is to get them to do educational stuff. Lot of good free websites have work sheets that children can work on  on-line or off-line. Here are some that I use regularly. You will find they are grouped by grades and topics.
  • Free Math Worksheets
  • The Math Worksheet Site
  • Math Worksheet Generator

• Having fun. Another way to teach your child about money and math is to enlist them while shopping. Make a list and ask them to compare prices, calculate the cost of all the purchases etc. This can make shopping a little bit longer but it will be lot of fun and less of a hassle. We have separate lists drawn up for our children and they ensure I don’t miss anything before we checkout (including the chocolate treat that I may have promised them). As they grew older, they wanted to make the lists themselves – even my little Kinder Gartener. That gave them some writing practice.
• Watching TV: TV gets a bad rap most of the time, when it comes to the amount of time children get exposed to it. We don’t have Cable/Dish at home. Instead we watch PBS and have found it to be a great resource. When parents need time to cook or just relax instead of turning the TV to some cartoon show – check out the offering on infotainment programs. Age appropriate animal shows, science programs or documentaries are great ways of reinforcing the knowledge of your kids. My daughter and I have learned a lot from watching shows like NOVA, Globe Trekker, Travel to the Edge to name a few.

Of course, in special cases we will have no choice but to enroll the kids to some after school courses but in general I have decided to attack the problem from another angle. Would love to hear thoughts from others.

Halloween is the time I dread most – the “candy craze” goes out of control. So this year I set out to make the Halloween Party healthy – while still retaining the fun and kids happy. From the outset I wanted to follow a few guidelines

1. No Candy.
2. No Junk Food ( yeah yeah that included chips, cup cakes, muffins).
3. Use Fresh Produce.

I admit that was a tough ask. How do I follow those rules at the same time still keep the kids interested in the food. I had to make fruits and vegetables appear freaky and spooky – but tasty enough to entice the kids.

Read on to find out how I did it at my children’s school with the help of a few other fellow parents.

1. Little hearts or Bleeding Hearts – We made little hearts using fresh big strawberries. We placed them on a beautiful platter and served them. We froze some of them to and then cut them frozen to make them appear as “bleeding hearts”. Note: Thaw the frozen strawberries in the serving platter the night before. The juice from strawberries as they thawed will look like “blood” and the strawberries look like “bleeding hearts”. Pierce them with toothpicks and serve.
2. Eyeballs – Lychees make great eyeballs. The canned ones are great to use – since they are already peeled and de-seeded. Just make sure to drain and rinse them really well. Then pop a red or green grape in the “socket” to make a great (and ominous) looking eyeball. The Lychees taste very sweet and if you have never tried them before I strongly recommend them.
3. Brain matter – Plain low fat vanilla yogurt mixed with any food color makes a great looking “brain muck”. We used green color and it really looked like a Vampire dish. Adding some chopped mandarin oranges made it look like brain cells floating in the brain mush.
4. Ghostly hands. Carrots make for great looking little fingers. We used 5 baby carrots and placed them in a small bowl of dip. Then we added slivered almonds to the top to make it look like a hand.  (Credit: Borrowed from another website)
5. Ghost hands # 2 - One of the children had allergies to nuts – so her mom made “popcorn hands”. She had these bags shaped like a glove and she placed candy corn for the finger tips and then filled the bag with popcorn. Popcorn, besides being a good healthy snack made those hands really looked spooky. This was a big hit with the kids.
6. Vampire juice – This was an improvisation. After all the great treats, the kids did need some juice. But we had to find a low calorie juice to meet the school guidelines. So we decided to use colorful “Kool-aid”  with a strawberry and a grape flavor. We had to use a little bit of sugar (honey would have worked well here). For the older kids, we used the “fizzy” kool-aid.
7. Chopped liver – We used chopped mandarin oranges and grapes and mixed them to give the illusion of chopped liver. Served on a beautiful platter, it was way too enticing – despite its name.
8. Witches stew – We used a little bit of junk food here I admit. Mini marshmallows made good fake teeth. We then used cheerios as nostrils, corn puffs as fingers, pretzels as bones, and raisins as bad teeth. This was a good hit with the kids – we prepared this with them and they loved creating different body parts using each ingredient.

So there is my quick and easy plan for a healthy and fun Halloween party. Would love to hear what you guys did and what you thought about my party.

While the kids loved every dish, the teachers were delighted that we could accomplish all this with fruits and vegetables.

Note: the kids were in Kindergarten and 3rd graders. But I am sure kids of all ages would love to use their imagination with healthy ingredients.

Holiday season is upon us and many of us are going to visit family, escape the weather or simply travel to see places. For those with children, the entire planning can be scary and exhausting. The emergency kits, travel necessities, emergency medical help and list goes on.

Here is a comprehensive list of things that I have found useful when traveling on an extended trip with my family

Medical

• Based on the area you are traveling to (and through), check with your child’s pediatrician to see if your child requires any special shots or medicines. If you are traveling overseas, doctors typically recommend that you carry malarial medicines with you.
• If your trip is going to be for an extended period, check and clarify with your insurance provider about their coverage. Some insurance companies have limits on the number of days in advance you can fill your prescriptions, while some will not pay for more than a month’s supply (I had both these restrictions). Negotiate a pay-out-of-pocket and a reimbursement option with them. In my case – I had to ask my husband (who was traveling later) to pick up the medicines for the later month)
• You are also better off checking with your insurance about out-of-state and out-of-country coverage. Sometime you might have to go for an Umbrella coverage.
• Wishing that you don’t have to ever use it but it would time well spent to identify General Physicians and Pediatricians in the place you are traveling ahead of travel and see if they are part of the network. Friends, Colleagues, Facebook can be great resources for recommendations.
• Pack over-the-counter medicines (inhalers, Tylenol etc) that you will need. If you are going to be traveling within the US (or Canada) you can pack just a small quantity as most gas-stations and grocery chains carry most of them.
• Bug Spray and Sunscreen are a must. While buying bug sprays look for ones that are natural and don’t have DEET. I like one that has the lemon balm as an ingredient – it has worked for me in the past. Neem oil has worked well for me thanks to it strong odor. It is  safe for kids and is a good bug repellent.

In-flight

• For a road trip, plan your rest-stops and food breaks in advance. GPS makes it a lot easier these days – but sometimes these trusted road-companions loose connection with their mother-ship (the satellite). In such cases, if you are driving in remote areas or mountainous regions, just prepare a list of food-joints in advance.
• If your vehicle has a DVD player – you are lucky. Mine does not and so I have to prepare for road trips with games, puzzles and some independent work, even some craft work, that kids can do. Believe me after being buckled to their seat for a while and not being able to run around can make then really restless. There are a lot of resources online for various games that you can play. I have found that my kids ( and their friends who occasionally join us) love to do brain teasers -  jumbles and my personal favorite, trace the route on a map – a road atlas in which the kids mark landmarks that they identify en route. Board-games with magnetic boards and pieces are a good buy – they work well on planes and on road trips. Hand-held video games are good for teens and pre-teens – but they are battery hogs. So make sure you take along extra batteries and game cartridges for the trip. Playdoh works for young children – if you don’t mind a little mess.

While all this planning may seem over the top, it makes your trip a lot easier and lets you bond – which is what traveling is all about in the first place. site-seeing and learning new cultures are an added bonus.

So travel on my friends and have fun.